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WEIRDO FLICKS: 'I Drink Your Blood'

by Eli Kroes

You might not be familiar with the term 'Z-Movie,' but if you grew up in the 90's, chances are you've seen one. They're the beyond-low-budget monstrosities that teased you from the walls of the mom-and-pop video store. Usually, the films themselves could never live up to the pictures on the videotape boxes (because this was way before your fancy 'Digital Video Discs' and 'Blu-Rays') but occasionally you'd find something truly unique. 'WEIRDO FLICKS' will clue you into some movies which 'unique' doesn't even begin to describe... 

'I Drink Your Blood' - 1970, Directed by David E. Durston

This is one of those lost 70's scare-flicks made directly after the Charles Manson ordeal. LOTS of directors wanted to cash in on the fact that there were potentially other 'family' members out there...kind of like how everyone wants to do 'found footage' horrors today because it's cheap and easy and requires minimal writing. To be honest, I liked the slew of crappy Manson-esque films better. I mean, even John Waters threw his hat in the ring.

This one, though...this is one of the best. First of all, it's totally bare-bones production-wise, which makes it look extra creepy. Plus, the plot is so ridiculous that the film would be good even without the crazy editing and so-bad-it's-good dialog.

Basically, a group of Satan-worshiping hippies roll into a tiny town and run out of gas. The town is REALLY tiny...it has about five people. There's a subplot regarding that which has to do with the whole town being relocated for some reason, but it's not really important. There's pretty much only one family...two kids, their grandpa, and a lady who might be their mom but I don't know because I wasn't paying attention.

The hippies attack the girl when she stumbles onto one of their Satan-meetings. She's cool with it, though, because she has a crush on one of the Satan guys. He also says something really hilarious later on like 'It's just for kicks, I don't wanna run with those clowns anymore, babe.' Her grandpa, however, is NOT cool with it and heads over to the abandoned house where the hippies are staying and eating rats (!). 

Obviously an old man shouldn't mess with a crew of ruthless Satanists, but fortunately they don't kill him, they just dope him up with some LSD and send him home. THAT'S not cool with his grandson, who's about 8 years old and really silly. He finds a rabid dog, shoots it, and then sells the hippies meat pies laced with rabid dog blood. Yep. Probably one of the most elaborate revenge schemes in B-movie history. And it's hatched by an 8 year old boy.

Well, it's actually not really that great of a scheme, because then the hippies turn rabid and start attacking everything in sight. And that's when things get REALLY good...

So, it might be a scare-film, and it might be QUITE heavy-handed in its anti-drug tirades, but you're not likely to find a more demented backwoods horror flick. Also, a lot of the score is just weird 70's synthesizer noises, which gets points in my book. Not for the faint of heart, but if you like the Tarantino-approved style of old school grindhouse horror, you'll want to give this a go.

VHS photo by Toby Hudson.