The other day I noticed something on my pointer finger and my first instinct
was to lick it. But wait…I suddenly remembered sound advice that I have
received though the years from parents, family members, mentors,
teachers and friends. They would say…
If you are not sure what is on your hand, don’t lick it.
Which made think of all the other great advice I have received over time
that has benefitted me, and now I share with you!
1. Never trust a fart…. nothing good can come from that.
2. Always have a friend to call when you are on first date, so if it sucks,
you have an “emergency” you must take care of right away (easy
out)!
3. If you have to whisper something so not to be overheard, you should
most likely should not say it.
4. If you dream of a toilet, don’t use it!
5. If your dog doesn’t like someone, be aware!
6. Never play the game “Hey smell this”. You will not win.
7. Never walk on the ice with your hands in your pockets.
8. Always double down on 11!
9. Don’t be ashamed of yourself — that’s a job for your parents.
10. If you can’t see out the back window, DON’T BACK UP!!!!
11. Make sure your brain is gear before your mouth takes off.
12. Never do anything that you don’t want to explain to the paramedics.
13. Never put your hand in a hole you can’t see into.
14. How to Terk – Step 1. Reconsider!
15. If you someone crying, don’t ask if it is because of their haircut.
16. Avoid awkward silences by taking the stairs.
17. If you ever get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise your head
and say in Jesus name, Amen.
18. If you end up in jail establish dominance immediately!
19. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. (So,
very true my friends. That sums up a number of my bad dates)!
20. If you can’t blind them with brilliance, baffle them with nonsense.
21. No matter how nice the hand soap smells, don’t leave the restroom
smelling your fingers.
22. Don't yell at your kids, lean in close and whisper, it's much scarier.
23. Never trust an electrician without eyebrows.
24. Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
25. All you need is love. But a little bit of chocolate now and then doesn’t
hurt.
26. When life gives you, lemons use them to remove freckles just like
Jan Brady and George Glass just may fall in love with you!
27. In life, remember that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi,
never be attracted by a bargain.
28. Don’t take life so seriously, no one is getting out alive.
29. When in doubt, look intelligent.
30. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without
one.
And there some of the precious tips that have been bestowed upon me!
And remember, I love your hair, I hope you win, wear your jeans tight!
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