History may describe it as “legislative ingenuity,” or it may be recorded as “partisan insanity.” If future history books are like today’s news networks, you may be able choose either version by simply shopping for the history book that fits your bias.
The current judicial system will probably decide it as “a typo,” followed by, “you’ve got to be kidding.”
Last week, Donald Trump’s Department of Justice indicted James Comey; AGAIN. After falling out of favor with the president, Comey has been a constant target for multiple attorneys general who are attempting to gain favor by prosecuting Trump’s perceived foes. We may have thought Joe Biden weaponized the Justice Department, but like almost everything he touches, Trump has gone “the likes of which we have never seen before.”
So, what’s the issue that Todd Blanche says he’s been investigating for a year? Yes, a YEAR! Let me lay it out. James Comey was walking on a North Carolina beach one day last year, and came across an array of seashells that he said someone else had arranged into a photo-op. Comey took the picture and posted it on social media (Yes, I still think social media could be the downfall of our society).
The two-count indictment, posted last Tuesday, alleges that a reasonable person would interpret the image of the shells, arranged to spell out “86 47,” as “a serious expression of an intent to do harm to the President of the United States.” Trump’s take on Fox News, “If you’re the FBI director and you don’t know what that meant, that meant assassination. And it says it loud and clear.” Really? Does anyone think Trump really knew what it meant before Steven Miller got in his ear?
In January/2022, Conservative podcaster, Jack Posobiec tweeted “86 46” and I have to admit that I never heard about it until Comey posted seashells. I don’t think it was considered too newsworthy in 2022 and didn’t seem too threatening. In fact, Posobiec noted last month that the post was a reference to impeaching, not killing or hurting, Biden. That sounds reasonable. However, if he had said it with seashells…
Posobiec never took his post down. Comey deleted his when he learned that some people were offended.
The apparent intent of this indictment is two-fold. First, Todd Blanche gets another atta-boy for attacking Trump’s enemies. And second, Trump’s foes are put through legal gymnastics that, while the outcome will almost obviously be a dismissal, will cost them dearly in legal fees and emotional stress.
Just think what could have happened if Comey had emailed Trump, “Let’s bury the hatchet.” Todd Blanche, let your imagination run wild; “bury” and “hatchet” in the same sentence? Get the firing squad prepped (yep, we do firing squads again now in America).
And while Trump is, for obvious thin-skinned reasons, not a viable candidate for any kind of celebrity “roast,” here’s hoping no one every suggests it. What a gruesome result!
Are we turning everyday speech into a minefield of inadvertent felonies? Because in today’s political climate, nothing shouts “shadowy conspiracy” quite like a beach-themed photo op.
As the government spends its time and money to prosecute the seashell case, it might be wise to interpret the number “86,” as it has been used before seashells entered the scene. For those with restaurant experience, “86” suggests either that “we are out of something” or “leave off the onions.” It doesn’t mean you want the onions to be assassinated.
To be fair, we live in an era where symbolism is scrutinized, often to extreme. But can’t we incorporate some common sense, some logic, some sanity into our actions before declaring treason over seashells? There should be a distinction between thoughtful analysis and partisan fealty. Not every ink blot test reveals a conspiracy. Sometimes it’s just an ink blot.
If seashells are indictable, then nothing is safe. My texting auto-correct could land me in prison. “Your Honor, I swear that I typed “Let’s hang out” and my phone changed it to “Hang Mike Pence.”
The absurdity is funny until it doesn’t stop. I am hoping that we’ll get past this, where a walk on the beach won’t require legal counsel, or where I can leave off the onions without Homeland Security showing up. At least we forgot about Epstein again for a few days, so something’s working.
A quote often attributed to FDR, although he probably never said these exact words, seems to apply: “In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.” I bet it was.
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Curt MacRae is a resident of Coldwater, MI and publishes opinion columns regularly.
To be notified by email each time a column is published, or to contact any time: rantsbymac@gmail.com
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