Bill Clinton was an orator. Ronald Reagan was a communicator. Thomas Jefferson was a communications savant. And now we have Donald Trump.
Have you listened to his rhetoric? The guy who hates late night comedy more than vegetables, keeps giving comedians their best material for free. Kimmel’s writers could not improve on the comedy output that Trump automatically provides on a daily, strike that, hourly basis.
There is the classic, “the likes of which we’ve never seen,” which can apply to the genocide he promises the people of Iran, to the new $15 million blue floor of the Washington D.C. reflecting pond, or a Mar-a-Lago cheeseburger. And after such a boast, Lindsey Graham, licking is lips in anticipation, might blubber that “No one other than the great President Donald Trump could have made a burger that good.”
This phrase fixes everything, explains nothing. But that’s the point. Just keep talking about horrible and great and put yourself on the right side, no matter how absurd or trivial the issue.
There is another go-to phrase that has become a favorite: “Big, strong men came to me with tears in their eyes… blah, blah, blah.”
These gigantic, testosterone-overflowing, emotionally fragile construction workers wondered how they could function in life before encountering President Donald J. Trump, after which they often burst into sobbing gratitude for a golden ballroom or the ability to spend the illegally proposed Trump $250-dollar-bill on a tank of gas. We sure are focusing on the critical issues, huh?
Those guys must be everywhere because Trump keeps quoting them. After his 2023 Manhattan arraignment, Trump noted that courthouse staff had no problems putting murderers in jail, but in his case, “They were actually crying. They said, ‘I’m sorry, Sir.’ …And tears are pouring down their eyes. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Wow!! Me neither.
Only big men weep. They work manual jobs, have enormous hands, and often collapse into sobs at the sight of the president. “Sir,” they whisper through trembling lips, “Thank you for eliminating the penny” or “Sir, your dance moves to Y-M-C-A have changed my life.”
Trump has described more weeping men, than the Hallmark Channel during a Christmas marathon. And somehow, no one pushes back, “Mr. President, that sounds highly implausible.” Republicans all nod in solemn support, acting like this is ordinary human interaction. It isn’t. It’s stupid and no one believes it the first time, let alone in the 81st version of the same event.
Instead, Lindsey Graham has actually uttered, “President Trump has been good to me in the sense that he’s allowed me in his world.” Aw, that’s sweet.
All that praise now comes despite Graham’s 2015 – 16 assessments, where he called Trump a “kook,” “unfit for office,” and a “race-baiting, xenophobic, religious bigot.” After the January 6, 2021 Maga-described, peaceful Capitol tour, Graham seemed to have reached his limit. “Trump and I, we’ve had a hell of a journey. I hate it being this way… All I can say is count me out. Enough is enough.”
Not quite enough, huh Lindsey?
Trump is effective using the phrase, “people are saying…” “Many people are saying, Sir (yes, they still say Sir in the retelling), you should be added to Mt. Rushmore.” Or “People have said that I am the best (fill in blank).” He once said, “Other than the blonde hair, when I was growing up, they said I looked like Elvis. Can you believe it?” No.
Who are these people? Where are they? Why don’t we hear them say it?
Normal politicians say, “According to economic data…” Trump says, “People are saying…”
Then there’s his obsession with rankings. Everything is either “the greatest ever” or “the worst in history.” There is no middle ground. After Xi Jinping described the United States as a “declining nation,” Trump said Xi was referring to the Biden years, and added, “Two years ago, we were, in fact, a Nation in decline… Today, we are the hottest Nation anywhere in the World!” We should charge a cover fee.
Any audience becomes, “The biggest crowd ever seen.” An ex-Cabinet member might be “The dumbest human ever created.” A trade deal or nuclear agreement gets torn up so that he can create “The greatest deal in the history of the world.” Yet, the strait of Hormuz remains “complicated,” after being un-complicated prior to the deal-making, and gas is up 40 percent. Explain that, Lindsey.
If Trump announced that he personally invented clouds, forty Congressional Republicans would line up their FOX News interviews to confirm that atmospheric vapor was actually weak before Trump strengthened it. You might hear, “Frankly, no one knows moisture like this president.” “He’s done more for condensation than any leader in history.” Lindsey Graham might add a short prayer, “Let’s thank God that His plan brought us Donald Trump.”
And there is one more go-to line that Trump likes a lot: “I know more about everything than anybody.”
It might be about wind turbines killing whales, sharks swimming near batteries, viruses, shower water pressure, infrastructure, nuclear weapons, A.I., military intelligence, or cognitive tests. Whatever the topic, Trump somehow possesses unmatched expertise.
And we’re expected to nod along. Are you nodding?
Yes, big, strong men are weeping. People are saying it’s because of greatness like we’ve never seen before. Trump knows everything, and Lindsey Graham is fully on board.
And “enough is enough” is a phrase still looking for leaders serious enough to stand behind it.
Curt MacRae is a resident of Coldwater, MI and publishes opinion columns regularly.
To be notified by email when a column is published, or to send feedback: rantsbymac@gmail.com
Comments